My morning paper informs me:

Alligator finds its way into Florida woman’s bathroom

PALMETTO, Fla. (AP) — A Florida woman found an unwelcome weekend guest in her bathroom — a 7-foot alligator.

Alexis Dunbar says she screamed and the gator hissed when she found it inside the bathroom of her home Saturday afternoon. Her boyfriend propped a small table by the bathroom to keep the gator inside until an officer from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission showed up to take him away.

Dunbar believes the gator used a doggie door on the back porch to get inside the house. Dunbar lives in Palmetto, which is south of St. Petersburg.

Spring is mating season for alligators and wildlife officials urge people to be extremely cautious, especially around water.

We have had minor run-ins with Florida wildlife. We have had to evict from our pool a large and unhappy turtle and two snakes who had been engaging amorous activity at the edge of the pool and had fallen in.

Although my favorite story is still the one about the women in Naples who had taken her dog for a walk, returned home, and then heard knocking at the door. She looked out the window and saw no one.  The knocking resumed. She looked down and saw a large alligator hitting the door and asking if Skippy could come out and play. She screamed. The alligator did not go away.

Puer natus in Bethlehem. Alleluia
unde gaudet Hierusalem. Alleluia, alleluia

In cordis iubilo Christum natum adoremus
cum novo cantico

Assumpsit carnem Filius. Alleluia
Dei Patris Altissimus. Alleluia, alleluia

In cordis iubilo Christum natum adoremus
cum novo cantico

In hoc natali gaudio. Alleluia
benedicamus Domino. Alleluia, alleluia

In cordis iubilo Christum natum adoremus
cum novo cantico

Laudetur Sancta Trinitas. Alleluia
Deo dicamus gratias. Alleluia, alleluia

In cordis iubilo Christum natum adoremus
cum novo cantico

Most modern English church music is on the shrieky side, but John Rutter has taken perhaps the loveliest Christmas poem in the English language and set it to music that can heal the heart. Here is the King’s College choir.

What sweeter music can we bring
Than a carol, for to sing
The birth of this our heavenly King?
Awake the voice! Awake the string!

Dark and dull night, fly hence away,
And give the honor to this day,
That sees December turned to May.

Why does the chilling winter’s morn
Smile, like a field beset with corn?
Or smell like a meadow newly-shorn,
Thus, on the sudden? Come and see
The cause, why things thus fragrant be:
‘Tis He is born, whose quickening birth
Gives life and luster, public mirth,
To heaven, and the under-earth.

We see him come, and know him ours,
Who, with his sunshine and his showers,
Turns all the patient ground to flowers.
The darling of the world is come,
And fit it is, we find a room
To welcome him. The nobler part
Of all the house here, is the heart.

Which we will give him; and bequeath
This holly, and this ivy wreath,
To do him honour, who’s our King,
And Lord of all this revelling.

What sweeter music can we bring,
Than a carol for to sing
The birth of this our heavenly King?

Robert Herrick (1591-1674)

Los reyes siguen la estrella,

la estrella sigue al Señor,

y el Señor de ellos y de ella

sigue y busca al pecador.

Teniendo de Dios noticia

buscan con divino celo,

la estrella el sol de justicia,

los Reyes al Rey del cielo.

Guiados son de una estrella,

la estrella de su Señor,

y el Señor de ellos y de ella

sigue y busca al pecador.

Buscan al Rey soberano

los reyes para adorarle,

y el rey traidor y tirano

le busca para matarle.

Siguen los tres a la estrella,

la estrella sigue al Señor,

y el Señor de ellos y de ella

sigue y busca al pecador. 

..follows and seeks the sinner

I have occasionally let anger blind me and have let myself become confused about the facts of a case, so I will not be too hard on a critic by posting his intemperate and inaccurate criticism (he should watch his language)

He claims that I called a leader of the Sancta Muerte cult a “Catholic Bishop.”

If he had read the post carefully, he would have noticed that it was not I but the usual confused newspaper reports who called him that, and I corrected the reports

The newspaper said:

“We are being persecuted,” said Catholic Bishop David Romo, who has become the black sheep of Mexico’s Catholic church for leading services to the bejeweled, scythe-wielding Santa Muerte, or Saint Death, in the rough Mexico City neighborhood of Tepito.

I corrected the newspaper by pointing out:

“However Romo, despite inaccurate news reports, is not a Catholic, but rather a self-styled bishop of a traditionalist church, whose traditionalism seems to include pagan worship.”

However, it is nice to know that someone is reading even older posts.

The Sancta Muerte cult needs close watching. Mexico I suspect has a death rate from violence in the same league as Iraq, and Mexico is a lot closer.

President Calderon of Mexico has correctly blamed the drug users of the United States for the crisis that threatens to tear México apart: without money from the U.S., the drug cartels would wither.

When we were at my wife’s college mini-reunion in Sedona, my brother-in-law gathered up brochures from the visitors’ center. 

The first is from “Down to Earth Psychic Readings.”  These are “famous for being authentic, accurate, and fun” (I can’t abide inauthentic psychic readings). 

The Center for the New Age offers Aura Photo, 15 (count’m, 15) Certified Psychic Readers (no uncertified psychics here), personal vortex tours, past life regression and FREE aura Cleaning (nothing worse than a dusty aura). 

Sedona Healing and Hypnotherapy has Intuitive Reading, Chakra Healing, Sacred Contracts, Spiritual Hypnosis, and Spirit Releasement. 

Angel Lightfeather is Sedona’s Top Mystic. One satisfied customer testifies: “Angel, not only did you change my wife’s life to one of happiness, but when you healed our dog on the vortex, we watched a miracle before our very eyes!” 

Bariatric (?) Patient Coaching is also available. 

Zoe is an Energy Healer. As is well known, “illness is ultimately caused by a disruption in the Human Energy Field” and our “full chakra and hara system” need a lube job every now and then. 

Not all practitioners are female (although I notice most are). Gregory, a Clairvoyant, a Conscious  Channel, a Shamanic Healer, offers Vortex Experiences to Secret Spots (he knows that sometimes a guy just needs a good vortex). He also has these tools at hand: Inner-Child Exploration, Polarity and Velocity Energy Work, Quantum Physics (very scientific), 2500 year old Manifestation Techniques (very historic), Dowsing (useful in the desert) and best of all, Extraction of Entities based on the work of Dr. Bryon Gentry.  

And on and on: Psychic Tarot, Chakra Balancing, Karuna, pendulums, Organ Harmonization, Pet Whispering, Holistic Pedicures (and manicures) etc. etc. etc. 

Then my brother-in-law found a true source of healing: 

Oak Creek Micro Brewery with Hefewien, Lager, Nut Brown Ale, Winter Knicker Kicker, Nektar Oktoberfest, Earth Angel Belgian, and so on through the sweet names that prove that malt does more than Milton can (and definitely more than psychic chakra balancing pet whispering pedicures can) to justify the ways of God to man.

I read this as grace for our family Easter dinner, and for some reason it made a big impression on my now-adult children, perhaps because they have lived long enough to have people they love die, and therefore to realize what it means that Jesus has conquered death.

Christ is Risen!

If anyone is devout and a lover of God, let him enjoy this beautiful and radiant festival.

If anyone is a wise servant, let him, rejoicing, enter into the joy of his Lord.

If anyone has wearied himself in fasting, let him now receive his recompense.
If anyone has labored from the first hour, let him today receive his just reward.

If anyone has come at the third hour, with thanksgiving let him keep the feast.

If anyone has arrived at the sixth hour, let him have no misgivings; for he shall suffer no loss.

If anyone has delayed until the ninth hour, let him draw near without hesitation.

If anyone has arrived even at the eleventh hour, let him not fear on account of his delay.

For the Master is gracious and receives the last, even as the first;

he gives rest to him that comes at the eleventh hour, just as to him who has labored from the first.

He has mercy upon the last and cares for the first; to the one he gives,

and to the other he is gracious.

He both honors the work and praises the intention.

Enter all of you, therefore, into the joy of our Lord, and, whether first or last, receive your reward.

O rich and poor, one with another, dance for joy!

O you ascetics and you negligent, celebrate the day!

You that have fasted and you that have disregarded the fast, rejoice today!

The table is rich-laden; feast royally, all of you!

The calf is fatted; let no one go forth hungry!

Let all partake of the feast of faith.

Let all receive the riches of goodness.

Let no one lament his poverty, for the universal kingdom has been revealed.

Let no one mourn his transgressions, for pardon has dawned from the grave.

Let no one fear death, for the Saviour’s death has set us free.

He that was taken by death has annihilated it!

He descended into hades and took hades captive!

He embittered it when it tasted his flesh!

And anticipating this Isaiah exclaimed,

“Hades was embittered when it encountered thee in the lower regions.”

It was embittered, for it was abolished! It was embittered, for it was mocked!

It was embittered, for it was purged!

It was embittered, for it was despoiled!

It was embittered, for it was bound in chains!
It took a body and, face to face, met God!

It took earth and encountered heaven!

It took what it saw but crumbled before what it had not seen!

“O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?”

Christ is risen, and you are overthrown!
Christ is risen, and the demons are fallen!
Christ is risen, and the angels rejoice!
Christ is risen, and life reigns!
Christ is risen, and not one dead remains in a tomb!

For Christ, being raised from the dead, has become the First-fruits of them that slept.

To him be glory and might unto ages of ages. Amen.

Here are wife’s favorite Rembrandts. 

The passage it illustrates is

But Mary stood w But Mary stood weeping outside the tomb, and as she wept she stooped to look into the tomb; and she saw two angels in white, sitting where the body of Jesus had lain, one at the head and one at the feet.  They said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid him.”  Saying this, she turned round and saw Jesus standing, but she did not know that it was Jesus. ] Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom do you seek?” Supposing him to be the gardener, she said to him, “Sir, if you have carried him away, tell me where you have laid him, and I will take him away.”  Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Hebrew, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher).  Jesus said to her, “Do not hold me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to my brethren and say to them, I am ascending to my Father and your Father, to my God and your God.”  Mary Magdalene went and said to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord”; and she told them that he had said these things to her. 

Jesus is shown as a gardener, with a big gardener’s hat and a spade.

Man was created in a garden, and fell in a garden and was driven from the garden. Christ was in agony in a garden, and died in a garden, and was buried in a garden and rose in a garden.

And now He is the gardener of the new creation.