I am working on an article “Shall We Dance?” about the 2000-year attack on dancing.

One skirmish was fought at the beginning of the last century.

Animal dances became popular at the beginning of the twentieth century. This was the basis of the Jeeves and Wooster episode “The Bally Balliness of It All” in which newt-fancier Gussie Fink-Nottle  laments his lack of luck in love and wishes that humans could have mating dances like the newt, which dance he imitates, inspiring Oofy Prosser to begin a new dance fad at the Drone’s Club.

Karel Capec’s The War with the Newts describes the full-moon dance of the newly-intelligent newts, although he explains “This does not refer to the Salamander Dance which came into fashion around this time, especially in high society, and which Bishop Hiram declared to be the most depraved dance he had ever heard described.”

And in real history the evangelist with the wonderful name of Mordecai Ham denounced

“the waltz… the turkey trot, grizzly bear, bunny hug, honey bug, gaby glide, pollywog wiggle,  hippohop,  ostrich stretch, kangaroo canter, dizzy drag,  hooche kooche,  Salomé dance,  necktie waltz,  Bacchanalian waltz,  hesitation waltz, love dance,  shadow dance, wiggle-de-wiggle,  pickaninny dandle, fuzzy-wuzzy,  terrapin toddie,  Texas Tommy,  Boston Dip,  kitchen sink,  cartel waltz,  boll weevil wiggle,  Arizona anguish,  Argentines ardor,  lame duck, chicken flip, grizzly glide, maxixe, shiver shake, cabbage clutch,  puppy snuggle,  fado foxtrot,  syncopated canter,  lemon squeeze,  hug-me-tight, tango etc.”

as

“just plain hugging set to music.”

The Reverend Ham cemented his case by appealing to the words of Catholic priests:

Father Brothers of New Jersey declared that “indulgence in the turkey trot, the tango, and other objectionable modern dances is as much a violation of the seventh commandment as adultery.”

Father Hannigan said that if he were a judge, he “would  sentence any woman who danced the turkey trot to a year in jail.”

My favorite is the Grizzly Bear. I shall dance it at the next cotillion to which I am invited.

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