Waddell’s book Formng Intentional Disciples does not really answer the question about what exactly a personal relationship with God is.
For some people, personal has an erotic connotation – up close and personal. The unfortunate tradition of erotic mysticism uses this sort of language to describe the Christian’s relationship with God – Christ as the Bridegroom of the soul, falling in love with God (language Waddell uses) and even more explicit language and images (think of Bernini’s St. Theresa). Perhaps some people (especially men) do not like this language and that is why they do not use us the word personal to describe a relationship with God.
Also, our relationship with Jesus is not like that with another human person. Unlike those who met him while he was on earth, we, like Paul, do not know Jesus according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. Jesus is glorified now, and pours forth his Spirit through many channels, both ordinary (Scripture, the sacraments) and extraordinary. This is not the sort of personal relationship we have with other human beings, so again, that may be a reason Catholics do not think it is possible to have a personal relationship with God in Christ.
If a person believes in God, and says his relationship with God is not personal, what kind of relationship is it? I find it hard to imagine it’s being an impersonal relationship, the type we have with the force of gravity, or the US government.
Historically, people spoke of God as “personal” in distinction from the impersonal god of the philosophers–the Deistic being that is like George Lucas’ “Force.”
But I heard a very disturbing version of a “personal God” spouted by a deacon of a Major Southern Archdiocese. He said he encouraged couples he did marriage counseling with to adopt a “personal god”–by which he meant their own version of the divine, whatever felt comfortable to them, their own household god like the idols of the Canaanites.
Jesus instructed us to have a personal relationship with God as our Father with whom He is One. He told us to tell the Father our concerns in secret and He will answer us in secret and to look at nature and see how the Father cares for it, while reflecting on how much more He cares for us.
Following the instructions of Jesus Christ how can a Christian sincerely pray the Pater Noster without believing in the Personhood of the Triune God? The operative word being “sincere”.
Leon, in reading about how you’re grappling with the language, it occurred to me that we cannot define a “personal relationship” with God totally in human terms, since God isn’t limited to time or space. Perhaps a less uncomfortable metaphor would the one St. Paul uses when he describes God as “Abba,” the affectionate diminutive for “Father.” (Galatians 4:6, Romans 8:15).
You can have a personal relationship with God rather like you can have a personal relationship with another person, although like you say it is a bit different because God is different than any mortal human being in some important ways.
The intimacy that a person shares with their mother and their spouse are different but they’re both varieties of intimacy. Both of those types of intimacy also involve all the faculties of a human being: soul, mind, heart, body. In a similar way, there is an intimacy that a person can share with God. God can know your inner thoughts and feelings as no other person can; he is your creator; he knows your deepest needs and truths and you can know his presence personally. This is a personal relationship with God.